Packing

There are two kinds of packing: leisurely packing, and last-minute-oh-my-god-the-plane-is-leaving-in-2-hours packing. Obviously, I much prefer the former as it is less likely to trigger a migraine or take years off my life through the added stress. I’m also less likely to forget something truly vital, like prescription medications.

Today, I am leisurely packing. Since I am a Phillips, there are (as my step-mom says) rules. The first thing to do is to clear and vacuum the largest room in your home. Then, you assemble all the possible toys you will wish to play with on your trip. Things like the camera, binoculars, battery charger, the camcorder, the tripod for the camcorder, the laptop, the laptop’s accessories, games, a DVD player, a book of DVDs, perhaps a printer, you get the idea. Then you add books, at least 3 for each day of the vacation. Then come the toiletries, including insect repellent, sunscreen, and medications to treat everything from snake-bite to ulcers. Next you take the number of days on your trip, multiply it by the fact that you will likely change at least twice each day, and start adding clothes accordingly. And when making your clothing selections, don’t forget to account for every possible variation of weather known to man (we are experiencing climate change after all).

Now unless you’re planning on touring the continent with an entire Jeep’s worth of cargo space (which I’ve done), you’re now reluctantly forced to concede that the airline is not going to provide the second plane required to transport all of the stuff you’ve accumulated. So then you get to sit down and play a game of ‘lifeboat’. The advantage to this method is that you hardly ever forget anything remotely important. That’s not to say that during your trip, you won’t suddenly miss Article X, but there’s some small comfort in knowing that you didn’t forget it and it’s on your living room floor at home because you thought Article Y was more important to bring…

Anyhow, it’s now back to leisurely packing!

Off to Washington, DC tomorrow!!!

In just about 24 hours, it’ll be ‘wheels up’ as I and two friends depart for Washington, DC. It will be my first trip back in almost 21 years (I was there for a few days as part of an exchange program in August of 1985). My most vivid memory from that trip was the incredible heat and my constant review of the weather in the last few weeks indicates that it’s gotten no cooler. How they survived in Lincoln’s day, I’ll never know. The other recollection I have from the trip was that three days was entirely too short to take it all in.

We haven’t got a whole lot planned yet. Pancake breakfast at the Canadian Embassy to celebrate Canada Day on July 1; travelling to Gettysburg to watch a re-enactment of ‘Pickett’s Charge’ on July 3; and cramming in as many fireworks displays as we can find on the 4^th! To my mind, that’s how a trip should be: a few pre-planned events to give it structure, but otherwise it’s great to wake up in the morning and wonder what you’re going to do today!! I just love that kind of spontaneity!

And Washington is a city that engages me on so many levels. The political animal in me revels in the fact that it’s the global centre of power-politics. And my historian and US Civil War buff will also find lots to see and do at the Smithsonian and the collection of various monuments and historic sites in and around Washington. It will also be great to see Barb and Murray Smith again and join them on their quest for great cheap food in Washington. Somehow, I think that when it’s all over, I’m going to think that seven days was also too short in the end…

And one other thing about being in the US, where they largely ignore Canada (except for the Alberta-fest that will be underway while we’re there), is I hope to go at least a week without hearing Dalton ‘I don’t like nuclear power’ McGuinty saying something stupid. As Blackadder says, “The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed…”. A week of blissful silence from Ontario’s premier isn’t too much to ask for, is it?

I don’t yet know what access I’ll have to the internet during the trip. But I’m hopeful that I will be able to add some entries and photos while I’m there!

Washington, here I come!

A Child of the Modern Age

As a student of history, I confess to a fascination with past events, cultures and individuals. So my second favourite fantasy invention (after a Star Trek transporter) would be a time machine. There are so many places and past times that I would love to visit. I emphasize the ‘visit’ aspect. Sort of like a camping trip into the remote mountains where you’re going for the scenery and the ‘experience’ knowing the living conditions and food will be primitive and the only ‘luxuries’ (like soap and advil) are those you bring with you. In other words, the past may be fun to visit, but I’m so grateful to live in an era of indoor plumbing, electricity, refrigeration and computers…

I came to this conclusion while building a set of shelves for my study today. Despite being pre-fabricated so that a chimpanzee should be able to do it blindfolded, it took me five hours of sweating, swearing and labouring and one gash on each arm before the darn thing was assembled (and even now, the top shelf is backwards). Knowing that in almost any previous century my hovel would have been entirely furnished by what I could make with my own hands, I'm so very happy to be part of this great modern age of consumer extravagance.

The point is even more poignant because my reason for building this shelving unit was so that I could finally set up the air conditioning unit I bought over 2 years ago. So now I can sit in my perfectly air-conditioned room, blogging away, with instant access to the world’s largest information base over the internet, totally oblivious to the scorching heat outside!

Gods, but it’s good to be alive in the 21^st Century!!

Are you ashamed to visit swimming pools because of your embarrassingly small penis?

Having recently switched ISPs, I am now becoming aware of just how much spam my former provider was blocking from arriving in my e-mailbox. From products promoting breast and penis enlargement to more esoteric products that will 'make your wife love your sperm more than you!' (Yuck!!) I am now being bombarded by at least 80 e-mails a day (I know that's a small amount but it is a fairly new address!) asking impertinent questions, offering to show me sexual acts that shouldn't even be possible, and generally irritating the heck out of me by competing with the few e-mails I want to read and respond to...

Now, I don't want to author the gazillionth post about the evils of spam. I recognize the consequences of an open information highway is there will be lots of traffic on there that I'd rather not see and if it's the price of having such an open, unregulated system, it's worth paying it.

But as a sometime communications professional, I keep asking myself 'does such spam work'? Yes, I realize that the audience is large, the cost so small as to be for all intents and purposes non-existent. But does anyone actually respond to an e-mail that asks: 'does your wife prefer your dog's penis to yours?' I could almost hope that the link contained in that e-mail would take the respondent to their local humane society's site or a list of qualified psychological practitioners in the respondent's area... but I am depressingly certain that it will take them to a site offering cheap generic viagra!

Now I can accept that there's a legitimate market out there for viagra, implants and maybe even 'Spermamax'. But doesn't advertising such products with such inane, insulting and often misleading questions defeat the purpose? Is there really someone out there who will be induced to try viagra as a means of giving poor Fido a break??!

As happens too often, I'm left with more questions than answers... but after a (too) long hiatus, QCF is back with a vengeance! BTW, my answer to the first question is that I tend to avoid swimming pools because of my large stomach along with my tendency to sink like a stone in water. Unfortunately, there’s no legitimate ‘wonder’ drug that will help with those problems.